We´ve just had the first night of below-freezing temperatures, so this weekend will be wardrobe rollover time.
The frugal part of it is that last winter´s clothes still fit me.
The annoying part is that last winter´s clothes still fit me.
I must not even think of how much further I had hoped I´d have recondensed by today. Weight-wise I´m back to about what I weighed in February, and once again, I see little connection between what I have eaten on a given day and what stares me in the face the next morning on the scales. Like in, eat about 1700 calories total on a given day and gain two pounds overnight which then proceed to refuse to come off again. Don´t anybody tell me that isn´t possible, because it´s exactly what happened to me this week. Seems like that obstinate body of mine is determined to show me once again that it refuses to follow any rules about how a body should behave.
And probably all because I had been going off-plan for less than a month due to serious work overload that left me, evening after evening, too exhausted to cook. I mean, I couldn´t even finish watching the evening news with DH at seven PM to seven fifteen PM without falling asleep in my easy chair. DH´s cooking abilities are mostly restricted to popping something in the microwave, so, no help from that quarter, either.
The overload situation seems to be going down a bit, but the fatigue it engendered is still there.
I´m fighting it with coffee, black, no sweetener. Breakfast is two eggs on two strips of bacon, fried. About 300 calories. The nuts that I had been crunching on at peak workload don´t even enter my office any more. Instad, lunch is a very-low-carb protein shake (sets me back about by 200 calories). In the evening, some vegetable-heavy stir fry, some greek yoghourt mixed with cocoa powder (the sugarfree kind you use for baking) and a glass of good German beer to unwind. All in all well below 2000 calories for the whole day´s intake. And still my weight is climbing. Heck, I ate exactly the same things in the same amounts when I was losing!
I don´t know what´s going on here, and that scares me.
As does the possibility that this might not stop before I haven´t gained everything back.
I must not try to drown the panic I feel at that thought in a sea of cookies, lest I end up like one of those Greek heroes who gets a prophecy, tries everything he can to avoid it becoming real, and then it turns out that the very things he did to avoid it were what made it possible to happen.
What I must do instead is watch things very closely. Maybe I´ll find out what started this regain, and maybe I´ll be able to stop it yet.
As long as I breathe there´s hope.
Julia
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