Mired down

Looks like that short holiday came just in time. In time before my estimated colleague has been doing the disappearing act for three full weeks again and left me with having to shoulder his caseload on top of my own.  Which somehow always results in more than double the work in spite of the fact that I still have the nominally bigger half of the caseload. 

On top of it, temperatures are going up again. Well, it´s summer. 

And the two days away from home and low-carb eating meant once again half a week of an upset stomach and a four-pound gain on top. 

So, I´m still stuck on that upward escalator. 

The fatigue is back, too. In spite of sleeping like a baby, I start feeling tired around midafternoon. If there were a bed or recliner in my office, I´d probably doze off in a couple of minutes. 

Well, perhaps I need more than the six to seven hours of shuteye I´m getting right now. But where to find the time? WIth DH having accustomed MIL to being called on the phone first thing in the morning and last thing at night, that means getting up at seven a.m. and staying up till ten p.m., minimum. Which would compute as nine hours, I know, except that the time after that last call in the evening is when we finally can sit peacefully together and relax. 

Well, that´s what we have to work with, We´re lucky MIL still can be left alone for any amount of time. 

Still, in the long run, having to care for her does take up plenty of energy and time. 

Which then is missing in other respects. 

Keep calm and carry on...

Julia

Eye of the needle

For well over a year, DH and I had not gotten around to doing any trips purely for pleasure. So, when the new edition of that out-of-town appointment that gave me a spontaneous holiday two weeks ago was coming early on Monday, we decided to make a quick escape and both took off Tuesday, too. 

Which explains the bloggy silence. 

Ancient buildings, historical churches, timber-framed houses, a candlelight dinner, and both of us soaking up the atmosphere of a thriving and alive city. 

And on the next day, sightseeing in a nearby castle that offered, from the top of the tower, a breathtaking view of the surrounding landscape.

To enjoy this, of course, I had to climb that tower. 

The last iterations of the winding staircase were just wide enough to pass through.

Had I attempted to climb that tower three years ago, that would have been the place I could not go on because there was no way sixty-plus more pounds of me could have fit through that passage. 

This time, I just continued the climb and enjoyed the view. And I wasn´t even out of breath when exiting the staircase.

There have been many occasions where I stayed at the foot of a tower or a hill while DH climbed it and brought down the pictures of what I might have seen had I managed to move my fat body up there. 

Today, we can enjoy the sights together, first hand. 

That, too, is Why I Do This.

Julia

Sometimes it pays to wait

When I acquired my tablet computer, I was also looking for the peripherals to go with it, namely, a wireless keyboard that would allow me to work on text documents without having to use that popup keyboard. Back then, I declined, as those things were out-rage-ous-ly expensive at the time. Yesterday, we went grocery shopping and they had, on sale, just such a keyboard, except not of the brand with fruit on it, at a quarter of what the other one would have cost me. The great thing being that it is small enough to fit into the sleeve I carry my tablet in, so, no extra protection needed. And, as I am typing this, I find I´m able to type as fast as with an ordinary keyboard.

As, even with a touchpen, that popup keyboard makes writing a somewhat tedious process, I have always disliked using it. Typing with my fingers was out of the question, as those are a bit too big for the minuscule "keys" on that thing, and besides, not being able to use both hands typing is a bit, er, demanding if you are used to doing so. 

So, the new keyboard removes one thing that has been nagging me for awhile, it takes up very little room, doesn´t require extra storing space, and I did not have to buy any extras to go with it, as I already owned a USB loader that I can use with this, too. 

Which means that it fits perfectly with my idea of minimalism. Useful, space-saving, low-price. 

And I am glad that I waited and did not shill out for one of the more expensive ones at once. 

What was also on the list yesterday was the acquisition of new plates for my car. 

Yes, again. After having both our license plates stolen last year, we had always parked our car in a closed, guarded parking lot, thinking that nothing would happen to it there. Well, last Friday we came to our car, and the back license plate had disappeared. 

Which meant another afternoon at the police station and, yesterday because there wasn´t time to do it earlier, another afternoon at the municipal car license office. And of course, having to spend the money  to pay for the new plates. Saying the whole thing was a major annoyance doesn´t cover it. 

Weight-wise, I have another uptick, to 82.6 kilograms. Maybe because I ate some salted nuts yesterday, maybe because I am retaining water (temperatures are going up again after a few days of cooler  weather). In any case, I will have to be watchful so things stop at that and I can continue to lose. 

Two steps forward, one step back. This plateau is, to date, the hardest to break. But break it I will. 

T minus 35 weeks for my dream goal. Thirteen kilograms to go. There still is a chance to make it in time. 

BMI 25. Being normal-weighted. I haven´t been there since I was twenty. I want to get back there by the time I´m fifty. Thirty years of overweight and obesity are enough. 

Julia

Next stop, real food

DH arrived back last night, so I shared, after a day of protein shakes, his dinner. For me, that meant two cups of lowfat yoghurt with chopped almonds and unsweetened cocoa powder, four stick salamis (about 50 calories apiece) and a finger-sized piece of cheese, plus a glass of beer. 

This morning, 81.9 kilos, so, up 100 grams. But that might be from the salt in the salamis. 

As DH's business trip had taken him to Bavaria, he'd brought some of their good wheat ale. As the basement still is dripping wet, storing that in the cellar was out of the question so it had to be carried up four flights of stairs (there's no elevator). 

Dragging that crate upstairs, I once more wondered how on earth I had gotten myself up those same stairs at thirty kilos more. 

Yesterday, I carried that crate upstairs, without having to pull myself up by the handrail, and without having to pause. Both of which would have been impossible at my top weight, even without carrying anything. 

Just so I won't forget why I am doing this...

Julia

It works, but slowly

Restricting myself to just two big protein shakes a day plus, yesterday, a salad of leafy greens in a homemade balsamico vinaigrette for dinner seems to start things moving. But, they move slowly.

Todays WI: 81.8 kgs, or 180 pounds. 

When I started recondensing, I could, if I ate what I eat right now, count on my weight dropping by about a kilogram a day for the first week. It is, of course, water weight that comes off whenever things move that fast, but still, that big loss at the beginning of a strict diet phase used to give a real push of motivation. 

This time, I will have to make peace with the fact that it will take a bit more patience to get back below 80 kgs, which is how far I want to be before reintroducing other foods. 

For over a year, that 80 kilo notch on my scales has been a barrier I could not break. 

From experience I know that beyond such barriers there may even be easier terrain ahead. After all, where they happen is usually at some weight I had, on the way up, managed to maintain for a longer period of time. The area around those 80 kilos was such a place. The next one "down" would be around 72 kilograms, putting me back at my postgraduate weight.

Dreaming on and doing my best.

Julia

Overfed and undernourished

When I was recondensing myself, I was careful to consume enough protein and regularly taking my supplements ( vitamins and minerals). I felt reasonably good. Most importantly I was barely tired. 

Slacking off in those two respects was probably what made the fatigue come back, big time. 

At least that's what I suspect. I had several protein shakes yesterday and started on a high-dosage vitamin/mineral regimen to fill up my depleted stores. Guess what, I am, this morning, for the first time in ages, not tired. I slept like a baby for six and a half hours, thankfully uninterrupted by any emergency calls, woke up half an hour before the alarm went off, and am sitting here more alert than I had been in months. 

I am also down 0.8 kilograms. Todays WI: 82.2 kgs or 180.8 pounds. 

Still a pound above morbid obesity, but I intend to keep up the protein fast for the next days. Perhaps I'll be able to undo some of the damages that way.

I sometimes wonder if the fact that I have always hated my body has something to do with how often I simply forget to properly feed it. Drinking my water. Eating my protein. Taking my vitamins and minerals. It ought to be easy. But what happens regularly is that I start doing it, keep it up for a little while, and then forget to do it. Treating my body well is not something I am in the habit of doing. 

I prefer being able to ignore it as completely as possible, thank you very much. Which also explains my aversion to intentional exercise. 

The problem with that is that neglecting my body usually ends up making the demands of said body louder, causing all kinds of annoying symptoms like fatigue. 

So, I should better get in the habit of taking regular care of the things my body needs. 

After all, it and me will, statistically, have to get along another thirty or forty years. And keeping it well-nourished might just make it a bit more comfortable to live in. 

Julia

Over again

The last weeks, weight-wise, were absolute desaster for me. The curve indicating my weight on FatWatch has turned into an almost vertical rise that has catapulted me back to about where I was at the beginning of last year. 

Highest point reached regaining:83.8 kilograms. 184 pounds. 

This morning's weight: 83.0 kilos, 182.6 pounds.

The most vexing part being that the rapid rise came after things ought to have been back to normal after the flooding in June. Not while we were off plan due to being unable to cool, wash or cook fresh food. Which either means that the results of that week were taking time to materialize, or I didn't get back on the wagon asap. 

Most likely, it's the latter. 

If mentally kicking oneself counted as exercise I might have an easier time getting the regain off again. 

Four point six kilos up from the lowest point last year in May. 10.12 pounds. 

The seventh part of what I had recondensed. 

If I had needed a reminder ( obviously, I did ) that I cannot must not may not ever return to eating the things I used to eat, this is it. It had taken me almost two years to get down there. Losing, statistically, fifteen weeks worth of distance already covered to being less careful for one year and just one month of not being careful at all goes a long way towards demonstrating just how fast the other sixty pounds might be back. 

So, back onto the rails. 

As DH is out of town once more, I have started doing a protein fast, with nothing but protein shakes for the next three days minimum. Not a sustainable way of living, but the point is that I must get off carbs again. 

I'll be posting my daily weigh-in results to keep myself accountable. 

The one thing I want to regain is the ground I lost this year. Being halfway through it already, that may mean I won't be able to reach my goal by next March any more. But I keep trying. 

Julia