One of my primary binge foods have always been nuts. Peanuts, cashews, walnuts, pecans. Preferably roasted and salted. Or almonds, the smoked variety.
They have the distinction of being easily storeable, needing no preparation, and thus they are perfect as a standby food for those days at the office when all hell breaks loose, your stomach growls and you don´t know when you´ll be able to get yourself a decent meal.
The problem, for me, was that I couldn´t stop eating until the bag of nuts was gone. I´d dig into those bags, pull out nuts by the handful, and chomp them down while attacking the files on my desk. On my worst days, I ended up having to throw out two such bags afterwards, empty.
The problem is that nuts are one of the calorie densest food groups. So, that kind of nut orgy instead of lunch would cost me the caloric equivalent of several day´s caloric needs.
Still, giving up nuts entirely is something I would not do, so they still are part of my diet. But, since I have started to journal my food intake to the gram, I can no longer take out a handful and gobble it up. I have to count them or weigh them, and when eating them afterwards, I try to be conscious of how they taste, how it feels to chew them, eating them one after the other to prolong the experience.
Eating them like that means that I have a bag of nuts (same caliber I used to down in one sitting) in my kitchen that hasn´t gone empty for about two weeks. I have been eating some five to eight halves a day, consciously, incorporating them into my daily calorie count.
Being attentive when eating is proving to be one of the most effective weapons in my weight loss arsenal, actually.
I have found that I can, unfortunately, down incredible amounts of food without paying attention to it. Eating while on the phone, eating while watching TV, eating while driving. You could always recognize my car by the dropped peanuts under the driver´s seat.
The problem being that after that kind of mindless eating, I ended up still wanting to have a meal. It was, psychologically, as if I hadn´t eaten at all. The food- never mind how much- had simply passed by my brain and dropped straight into my stomach.
This tendency to wolf down food is also one of the things I try to consciously change. For example, hubs and I usually have the same breakfast of ham and eggs. Hubs- who never had an ED- enjoys his, cutting off small pieces and savouring them. I, on the other hand, keep having to slow myself down. I don´t know if having had to sneak foods past my diet-happy relatives as a child is still influencing me there, but I sometimes catch myself eating as if I might get caught doing it.
The result is always that I do not feel satisfied after such a meal. My stomach may be full, even painfully so, and I still want - something.
By now, I have found out what that something is. It´s the sensory pleasure of eating. The taste, smell, and texture of food. I start a meal expecting that kind of experience, and if I shovel it down mindlessly, I deprive myself of the real pleasure to be had from eating. Which leads me to wanting another fix, a second helping, or a different food.
There´s only one cure for that. For someone who has been yo-yo dieting all her life it´s a momentuous step. I have to allow myself to eat. No more sneaking food, not even by myself, no more "if I eat this fast enough perhaps no one would see I was eating". Just sitting down, with nothing before me but the food, and then savouring every bite, taking my time to take in the taste, the texture.
I have found that I can, that way, be satisfied with less than half the amount I used to eat.
More satisfaction for less calories.
Sounds like the perfect weight loss recipe, doesn´t it? And all it requires is being mindful.
That way, even the infamous nuts become an acceptable weight loss food.
Julia
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