Back to the track

96,8 kilos. That´s what this winter´s regain catapulted me back up to. Pants getting tight, having to buy a new red belt because I was unable to close the old one. 

And a nasty cough that has been hanging around since I don´t remember when. 

I am pissed to no end, I really am. 

That weight must come off again, asap, not only because of the aforementioned wardrobe woes but because my body has, by now, reached a point where the complaints of being fat are reappearing. Hurting knees and ankles, inability to bend down without my belly getting in the way, shortness of breath. The latter possibly also due to smoking.

I am afraid. Afraid of those damn panic attacks I had when I last quit, afraid of not being able to lose that extra weight or even- gulp- regaining another 25 kilos and getting back into super morbid obesity country.