Too tired to boot

I still do not know what has been making me so extremely tired those last two weeks. I get up in the morning, ride the tram to work, do my eight-hour workday, ride home, fix dinner for the two of us and then fall asleep in my easy chair. Basically, I might be better off if I were to go to bed for real, but DH's already annoyed about me dozing off every night instead of talking to him anyway.
So, the good intentions about exercising have for now stayed exactly that. And my weight is following a sad pattern of gaining two or three pounds in a single day-without me being able to spot a dietary culprit for the gain- and then losing said pounds over a space of weeks, only to be hit by another regain. It's almost as if my body were actively refusing to permanently go to a weight below morbid obesity. Not that I get far above that point, one to two pounds at most, but still this is beginning to feel like Groundhog Day whenever I step on the scales.A whole year now, gone by with a net loss of zero. Without those pesky regains, the sum total of the weight I had lost during that year might have brought me almost to goal.
It's frustrating. Especially since the sum total of sweets and such that I ate over that year would probably amount to less than three pounds' worth of calories. Spread out over 365 days, that's on average 28 calories a day- which shows just how rarely I eat that stuff.
One thing I have as per now done regularly is having a glass of beer with dinner. But that cannot account for those massive upwards fluctuations in a single day, because I do it daily. Besides, it is accounted for in my daily calorie allotment.
So where does that leave me? From a top weight of 112 kilograms- 246 pounds for the metrically challenged- I have come down to 81 kilograms (178 pounds), with a low of 79 kilos (174 pounds). So, I did manage to recondense roughly thirty percent of my starting weight. The four-pound regain is well within the scope of normal variations, as long as it doesn't get any higher.
If I were to believe the statistics that go around the web, a thirty-percent reduction in weight would mostly be achieved only at the cost of a surgical intervention, which I did never have. Statistically, thus, I am doing okay.
Except that I am still fat. Borderline morbidly obese.
To be normal-weighted again, I'd have to lose another 14 kilograms(31 pounds)or, in other words, another twelve percent off my starting weight. Or sixteen percent off my present weight. I still drag around one and a half buckets of fat too many. One and a half out of four and a half.
I am not ready to give up on getting rid of these, too. But I am afraid that that ole enemy, my body, might not be persuaded to give them up.
If only that weight curve were going downwards again.


Julia